phoenixleader | EMP Inbox

[ She feels the push away, and she returns in kind, her arms moving away from him in order to give him space. Trusted Maul? Oh no, no, she never did. Kanan never did, either. He seems to be missing the details from her flashes of memories. ]

Ezra, listen to me. What happened between Maul and the crew is not your fault.

[ She tries to open communications again. Tries to show him the fire fight between her and Maul. How she and Sabine and Zeb had all been knocked out, awoken with binders on their wrists. It was an attack. ]

We never trusted him. He never came with you from Malachor. He attacked us because he wanted the Sith and Jedi holocrons. And that's on HIM.

[He's missing a lot of details from her memories, but he'd been given enough to draw all the ~~wrong~~ conclusions. At least the second round of memories helps a little with that, grounding him in more solid facts. He's still rigid, still tensed like a wounded Loth-cat, but not pulling away anymore.]

Then-

[He swallows. Somewhere in the distance, thunder rumbles.]

But I trusted him. I thought he was on our side. You're telling me he didn't take advantage of that?

[ She can't lie to him. Maul did take advantage of that, and she knows Ezra blames himself. But Kanan never did. Rex never did. What happened on Malachor was all on Maul's head, and she reaches out again to try and tell him that.

Kanan, blind, telling her that he never blamed Ezra.

The crew, coming for him, trying to find him in the light of the Holocrons.

Ezra across the holotable, knocked out cold by his visions through the force, and how scared she was- not that he would trust Maul, no, but that Maul would find him and kill him. ]

From what I understand... He wanted an apprentice. He wanted someone like you, who was still learning. But listen to me, Ezra... You didn't waver from what Kanan taught you.

[ She reaches out to him, gloved hands on his shoulders, holding him steady and looking him in the eye. ]

You were tempted by the darkside, and you didn't fall. You stared it right in the face, and turned away. That's strength, Ezra. Kanan- I'm- We're all so proud of you.

[ She pulls him close and into a hug, to try and make him understand. They had never blamed him. Not once.

They were only glad that he had turned away from the darkness. ]

[It's the image of Kanan that sticks with Ezra most. It's hard to tell what's really happening in the other two there, just enough to get the sense that Ezra's the one in danger, but that doesn't matter to him. If there's one thing his family on the Ghost have taught him consistently, it's to put others first, to care about them before he cares about himself.

Kanan, wearing a face plate he can't possibly see through, kneeling and looking so worn out.

Kanan, telling Hera he doesn't blame Ezra.

There's not enough context, and yet there's more than enough to make a bubble of anguish well up in Ezra's heart. Something happened, something hurt Kanan, and Ezra hadn't been able to stop it.]

But it wasn't enough strength! Maybe I didn't fall, but I still failed! [He squeezes his eyes shut, hands fisting in her shirt - to hold onto her, to keep her from letting go, even he doesn't know.] How can you be proud of me for that?

[ She doesn't pull away. She doesn't dare pull away, only moves her gloved hands to his hair, pulling him closer to his shoulder, trying to comfort him. Her lekku are twisting in distress- When she is from, it was Kanan who had this discussion with him. Kanan who had brought it all to a head.

Now, she's the only one here for him. ]

It was enough. It was more than enough. Listen to me.

[ She smoothes his hair back, tries to make him listen, tries to make him understand. Kanan, telling her what happened. How Maul attacked them after he had gained all their trusts. How they had enough strength to pull the holocron away from Vader.

How when it came down to it, he had brought the Holocron for their lives, how he had turned away from forbidden knowledge. ]

You kept Vader from getting his hands on a key to a battlestation. You kept Maul from learning dangerous knowledge. You didn't stray from what Kanan and Ahsoka both have taught you.

How is that failure? How can you make me anything but proud when you've done this?

[He didn't know how badly he needed her hug until he'd been pulled close enough to feel her heart against his chest. Didn't know how much he needed a reassuring touch until her hands were in his hair, smoothing it back. Something warm and concrete and filled with love that can't be refuted, no matter how strong his fear is. Ezra hiccups a little, trying to just soak in the images Hera's sharing with him.]

But if I'd been stronger, or if I hadn't believed Maul, maybe he wouldn't have gotten hurt at all.

[Though, to be able to pull the holocron away from Vader himself... A small part of him can't help but be impressed. Had he and Kanan really done that?]

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I never got a notif for this >:T

We broke the notifs. :c

Slams back in here time for feelings

Well, if you're here for feelings...

Re: Well, if you're here for feelings...

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